Run ins! What to do?

Okay - so - I was at a charity event this weekend where I ran into a guy who I had met last year at another charity's Hanukkah Party. Here the little back story:

Like I just told you I was at a charity event last year for Hanukkah and I met this Israeli guy who I thought was cute at the time. My friend was talking to his friend so when he started talking to me I figured I wouldn't be awkward and just go with the flow of everything! Long story short towards the end of the night we started heavily making out on a sofa in the upstairs lounge. This was extremely out of character for me! I usually wait till the 2nd date to kiss a guy but in this circumstance I guess I let the open bar get the best of me! Before all this happened he did ask me for my number. When we were all leaving I asked this guy how long he had been in the states for He told me since 1988! I then asked him how old he was and he answered 41!

AAHH!!!!!!!!!  HE CAME TO AMERICA WHEN I WAS BORN!!!!!He looked no older than 28!
I was absolutely mortified!!!!! I did not know what to do! I just casually fluffed it off for the time being and turned to my friend and told her what he just told me and she goes "Oh I know! He's kinda old!" I was like Oh My Gosh!!! How could she not have told me!! two minutes later I said my goodbyes and got into a cab heading towards home!

The next day he calls me to go out for dinner but I did not answer my phone! after several calls and text from him I answered him back telling him how I felt about the age difference between us! He was cool with it!

At this weeks charity event I was helping the charity with check in. This very familiar looking man walks in ans says his name for my to check him in! I pause and to myself go" OMG OMG OMG!!!!! Its him!!!" I ask him for his name again because all i could think about was that evening and how awkward this may be! he tells me his name and as I find it on the list I outwardly go" HEY!! I know you! I mean, I think we've met before!" He's looking at me like I have five heads and then goes, "Oh yea! you do kind of look familiar!" To myself I'm thinking "Yea you should ya jerk, for taking advantage of a 21 year old girl like that!!!!" But I was a lady and said, "Yea I think it was at the Dor Chadash Hanukah Party last year!?" He then clearly remembered who I was and got kind of embarrassed as he then walked into the event after I checked him in!!

I did not know what else to do! I wasn't going to NOT say anything to him but at the same time i did not know what to say!! Afterward, I just felt gross thinking back to that night because he isn't even good looking!! Not that looks are everything - which they are not! But I just felt icky inside! When a friend of mine arrived to the party and I told her the story and showed him who he was - she made me feel better about the situation!
Kiss Kiss, Hug Hug,
-D.

NOW GIRLS!! 

What would you have done in this situation?? 

Would you have said anything at all? 

Any similar stories relating to this!

Lets hear 'em!!!

Nice Jewish Girl of the Week: Alina!!

Name: Alina
Hebrew name: I don’t think I have one?
Age: 23
Location: NYC

A bit about Alina: I’m in fashion so everything about my life revolves around style and dressing up. Aside from my fashion life, I love to travel and meet new people. I think I’m a really nice person and I try to be the best version of myself. I love giving back so I’m usually involved with or looking for a charity that I can be a part of. Giving back is really important to me. I also love going out and dancing preferably in a classy club or lounge. I love living life to the fullest so I really want someone who shares the same zest for life and having fun. 

Favorite activities: Traveling, tennis, going to charity events, dancing, wining and dining, dressing up, photography, going to the beach.

What she is looking for: I'm looking for someone who will love me for me and encourage me to be a better person. Someone who could make me laugh every day and is overall a nice guy that I can bring home to mom. I gravitate towards people who have a good sense of humor as well as a strong direction in life. Being ambitious and smart is the most attractive quality in a man. Dressing well is a plus too!   

Alina's idea of the Perfect first date: The perfect first date would be going out to a nice sushi restaurant and just getting to know each other and then ending the evening doing something romantic like a boat ride!  

Favorite food: Sushi
Favorite movie: Keith
Favorite TV show: Gossip Girl
Favorite book: I’m going to be super cheesy and say Twilight.

 If you like Alina - Please send a short bio and picture of yourself to llandtnjb@gmail.com or post your comments here with your email address so we can contact you!!

kiss kiss, hug hug,
D&L

BECOME our NJG or NJB OF THE WEEK!!!!

 So D&L figured - while we are telling you stories about Jewish dating
on the east coast we would take the time to find nice Jewish girls &
nice Jewish boys who are looking for a relationship!!!!!! Maybe we can
help you out!!! 

 IF YOU WANT TO BECOME our NJG or NJB OF THE WEEK
...PLEASE SEND US A MESSAGE OR EMAIL US AT

llandtnjb@gmail.com!!! 

EVERYONE
WILL HAVE THE CHANCE TO BE ISSUED 0 SO DO NOT WORRY!!!!

kiss kiss hug hug

D&L

It's A Small Jewish World Afterall! La La Laaa!!

So I have a little funny story to tell you all! Just when I thought the world couldn't get any smaller....it did!

I was working in a group for a project with a few girls I have known for quite some time now and a few others who I have recently met.  One other girl in my group "Dalia" is Jewish and we have become friends over the course of the project. In speaking about random people we know around NYC during one of our group meetings we came the the conclusion that we had once dated the same guy..."Joey"! Luckily, we both dated him at different times and for different amounts of time! All we could do was laugh hysterically when exchanging stories of this one guy, because well, if you knew him....you'd understand the humor in this! The other girls in the group were looking at us like we had five heads, but it was just so funny!

Later that week we went out with some friends of mine for drinks. We continued to talk about our dating experiences around good ol' Manhattan and how some of the guys she was speaking of....I sort of knew and visa versa. Exchanging stories about dating with friends is always fun especially when you can actually understand the reasons as to why we both stopped seeing that particular guy!

NYC is such a small city especially in the Jewish community! I feel like everyone in one way or another, knows everyone! JEWISH GEOGRAPHY MUCH???? But in a way I think it can be a good thing! Unless you have some nasty rumors that are being spread around about you, than no this isnt good. But if in the terms of feeling a sense of connection to other people like yourself, in your community...why fight it?

Anyway getting back to Dalia and My dating similarities! A lot of the guys we talk about happen to be from Jdate....go figure! Not all, but some! That is is even a smaller world in the Jewish dating spectrum. You have no idea how many times I will go out with friends and bump into someone who I have either spoken to or have recognized off of that site. Now, this isn't a bad thing, it is just sometimes awkward. After-all, who wants to be recognized for being a serial Jdater? Not me!! The other day this exact discussion went on between me and a few of my girlfriends who are on Jdate. After the conversation Dalia text me saying to she was going on one date....and while walking to the restaurant she bumped into another guy she had gone on a date or two with a while back...from yes, you guessed it.....Jdate!
This week alone I saw 2 guys that I had spoken to a few weeks ago, on Jdate in two of the most random places....Grand Central Station after coming back from the Brooks Brother's tie factory in Long Island City and at a mutual friends Halloween party. What are the odds! It sometimes freaks me out...but I just then come back to the realization that....

IT'S A VERY SMALL JEWISH WORLD AFTERALL!

• has any of this every happened to you? 
• have you and your friend ever dated the same guy at some point in time and found out about it later on? 
• Have you ever bumped into a guy you spoke to off of Jdate randomly?

Let us know your stories!

 Kiss Kiss, Hug Hug;

--D

Expressing Your Identity Can Be Chic!!!!

While we are conjuring up some new stories for all of you lovely Shannah Punims and Boychiks here are some fun accessories that capture your Jewish identity. 

OTRERA Hamsa printed silk-chiffon scarf 

$195 - net-a-porter.com

(1)24" Satin Cord with 7 Charms, Hamsa, Peace Sign, Eye, Heart $9.99 - girlprops.com (2)Mini Hamsa Curb Chain Bracelet, Gold $190 - charmandchain.com (3)SYDNEY EVAN "Jewish Star" Bracelet - 795 EUR - colette.fr (4)Nice Jewish Girl T-shirt popjudaica.com (5)Necklace - Jewish Escapular - brownsfashion.com (6)Elsa Peretti®Star of David earrings $1,150 - tiffany.com (7)Elsa Peretti®Star of David pendant - tiffany.com (8)Chai on Red Coral $350 - ylang23.com (9)Foil Embossed Star Yarmulke traditionsjewishgifts.com (10)King Baby Studio - Two Strand Bracelet (Star Of David) $274 - zappos.com (11)ROMAN PAUL SILVER STERLING SILVER / DIAMONDS LION STAR OF DAVID NECKLACE 879 GBP - farfetch.com  (12)Boots - MichalNegrin.com (13)Pink Hand Bag MichalNegrin.com (14)Hamsa Earrings 77 EUR - pret-a-beaute.com

Don't you just love when you're out in public and some random person comes up to you and says "Ooh! I love you hamsa!!"? We know we do!! Hey, Maybe even wearing Judaic jewelry will bring you luck in the love department!! Ashem works in mysterious way....so they say!

What is your favorite piece of jewelry or accessory that you have that symbolizes Judaism? Let us know! We'd love to hear the mini story behind it! 

 Kiss Kiss, Hug Hug,

D&L

Flowers/ Gifts on a First Date: Dating Desperation or a Gentlemanly Gesture?

The ultimate question .. Should a guy bring a girl flowers (or a small gift) on a first date? 

This topic seems to be one that holds a lot of opinions so D&L are going to give you a story or two on this topic.

BY L: Recently, I met a guy who on our first date brought me a dozen red roses. We talked on the phone the night before and I casually said, "I love the little things." When I met him he handed me this bouquet of gorgeous roses (not the kind that you pick up at a grocery store that might be four days old!) and he said "I know that you said you like the little things". My first thought was, "Wow! A guy that actually listens to what I say and acts on the little things? How sweet! " It wasn't until I was driving home after the date that I started thinking about flowers or a gift on a first date. No guy has done this for me before so it wasn't really something I had thought about a lot or in fact, something I was used to. I know a lot of girls dream of a guy bringing roses(or flowers in general) on a first date. Other's may think it's absurd. 

BY D: I once dated a guy for a year who knew I loved flowers along with the little things in life. The day of our date he called me to make sure it was still on for that evening. I was on the elevator in my building during the conversation and as I walked off I saw a delivery guy standing outside this girls door with a very large bouquet of flowers. I tend to think aloud, so on the phone I said "O-M-G, THAT IS SO NICE!!" As I passed the girls door she started to tear up because the flowers were from her boyfriend with a note that read, "Can't wait to see you tonight!" (I was friendly with the girl so she later called me over to her apt to look at the note and flowers) During this whole scene that sounds like it comes right out of a movie - the guy who i was going out on a date with who soon after became my boyfriend asked me what was going on because i wasn't paying attention to what he was saying...:::laughs:::...I told him the story when I got back to my apartment.

Well, that night when he came to pick me up he came empty handed, I was a little put off only because I am a very old fashioned girl but I didn't take it too seriously. Our date was going great! Food was tasty, conversation was flowing, when all of a sudden he sees a a couple greeting each-other at the restaurant with the guy having a small bouquet of flowers in hand. I tell my date how adorable I think it is when he says to me; "Ya know, i was going to bring you flowers tonight but after the whole thing that happened in your apartment building I didn't want to anymore! I thought you may have been saying this to me in order for me to buy you flowers, like you were underhandedly telling me what to do" WELL, I looked at him like he was insane and told him that that was absurd!!! he started to laugh and told me on the next date he would. Long story short, after that first date, the subject of the little things was a very soar topic, for some odd reason! He always told me how he HATED giving flowers because they die and he didn't want to spend the money on something that's going to die! I kept telling him that I didn't care, it was the gesture that girls like myself love. But he wasn't hearing it. I just let it go after a while because I was really into him, but in the end when I had major surgery and he never sent me flowers...(only a pillow for a seven year old) I had to say goodbye! (don't get me wrong there were other reasons too)

I went out on a date with a French guy and on the first date he brought me one white rose. So sweet! But I think in the end he just wanted one thing, if you know what I mean! When I didn't go home with him that night, I never heard form him again! But HEY, flowers will not make me feel more compelled to go home with someone, ESPECIALLY ON THE FIRST DATE!!

LADIES!!!!

Everyone has a different opinion on this. Some girls that I have asked said that flowers on the first date is really special,  a gentlemanly gesture to show how much he cares. Those are the girls who probably dream of a guy doing this! Others (the majority) who I have asked think it is a desperate act. Is bringing a girl flowers a way to ensure that the guy sees them again? Is it a way of guilt tripping them so that they would feel obligated to go out with you again?

One friend is completely opposed to this, saying that she would be embarrassed to walk into a restaurant with flowers from a guy, let alone one that you just started talking to. I don't know if we would use the word embarrassing but we think any girl would feel pretty special receiving or walking into a restaurant with bouquet in hand, from her date.

Although we think it is such a sweet and gentleman like thing to do, bringing a girl flowers (or a gift) on the first date some girls will think is too much. After all, second date cannot be forced. 

That is probably something a lot of girls have to decide on. Now all of us girls and guys a like can agree to disagree, BUT I (L) think flowers are more meaningful on a fourth or fifth date, maybe as a I really like you type of thing and I want to date you exclusively. 

I (D) agree with you (L) to a point! I think that when a guy shows up on the first date with flowers, even if its just one single Gerber Daisey, shows that he is making an effort! I think now a days when people think about the idea of someone making an effort it is looked upon as desperation. In the case of the flower, I do not think that this is desperation. If a guy shows up in a horse and buggy, with a bottle of champagne, and a personal violinist to serenade us, then yes THAT WOULD BE DESPERATION SCREAMING OUT LOUD!  

(L) - The flowers should mean something. Although I think flowers are too much on a first date, there are exceptions! In this world with a lot of online dating, there are long distance relationships (which is for another post!). Say a girl in New York City is talking to a guy in Florida for a couple of months (coming from an online dating site) and they talk every day, whether it is online or on the phone, it would probably be more acceptable for the guy to bring flowers or a small gift (that means something). These two people have been talking for such a long time and they probably would feel like they already know each other. You truly like to this person and see their pictures and have grown to care about them and you're finally meeting them .. A small gift or flowers is definitely a nice gesture! Don't you think?!?!

Gentleman!

Now, the majority of guys who I have talked to about this say they would not  bring the girl anything on a first date. Some of you ladies might say, Oh that is ridiculous .. Where is the chivalry? Well .. Here is what they had to say.

A good guy friend of mine said:

"Bringing a girl flowers or any gift for that matter on a first date shows that he is probably desperate or he wants to show off. Don't get me wrong, it is a nice thing to do but over the top on a first date".  

Another guy said,  

"Flowers on the first date is tacky and overdone. I don't think a gift on the first date is good. Too presumptuous. Second date should be something that was brought up in conversation or "this made me think of you"!"  (DM)

Another guy:

" Flowers are for apologetic purposes only. If you get them flowers on the first date, then by the fifth they will be expecting diamonds..." (ML)

ML, We don't think flowers are for apologetic purposes only! Other wise the whole floral industry would be dead! :::laughs:::

Chivalry is such a broad topic (Which we will definitely get into another time) and we definitely think some guys should be more chivalrous!!! HELLO, chivalry is not dead!! Whether you believe it or not, girls like when you hold the door, pull out their chair, etc.

We think a great first date entails having a nice time, laughing, being able to open up and talk to the person, sharing common interests AND as long as the guy makes an attempt to open the door, pay for lunch or dinner (on the first date), and is respectful, that is enough chivalry for one time! Flowers can come on the first date but small gifts should definitely come later, if they come at all! You can agree or disagree!

Opinions, Opinions! Ladies, 

• Would you be completely turned off by a guy giving you flowers or a gift on the first date OR would you be flattered and think it is a gentlemanly thing to do? WHY?

• Gentleman, would you bring a girl flowers (or a gift) on a first date? What would your intentions be for doing this? OR do you disagree with this gesture and think it is a way for a guy to show off or ensure another date? WHY??

We want your opinions, comments, and examples! We know that you all have them!!

Kiss Kiss, Hug Hug,

D&L

What do you think when a random guy says "HELLO SEXY" to you??

 

LET US KNOW!!!!

Kiss Kiss, Hug Hug

D&L