Who is REALLY behind that computer screen?

Hey ladies and gents! So, from the last time we spoke, we determined that online dating has become oh so popular, especially Jdate for Jewish singles. Although much of this world is now technology based (which can be great, especially with the internet) anyone, whether you are a guy or a girl have to take caution when you are participating on an online dating site. Besides the obvious precautions of online dating such as not giving out your address and your last name until you really know the person, we all wonder, "is the person behind that computer screen real, or are they a sixty year old petafile pretending to be the 6’0” tall, dark and handsome, successful, financial analyst from Manhattan?" Who knows!

About a year ago, I was talking to a guy for a couple of months before we met (it was long distance). For a moment during a phone call, I thought "What if this guy is a sixty year old man just saying that he is a 28 year old business man from Florida?" Yes, we were friends on Facebook, which can pretty much assure you that the person is real and who they say they are. Especially if they have a good amount of pictures online and if they have tons of friends writing to them .. BUT, you never know with anyone anymore!

I was very curious to meet this guy who I have talked to on the phone for a couple of hours almost every day, yet at the same time, I was nervous that he would not be who he says he is. In the midst of parking the car, looking around for him, wondering if he was in the restaurant, or outside waiting for me, I saw him and it was such a relief that this guy was in fact who he said he was and he wasn’t a serial rapist. After we said hi and exchanged a big hug, he said "Wow, you really are who you said you are" and I said the same thing to him! Yes, he was the guy who I saw in pictures on Facebook and much to my surprise, he resembled his pictures exactly! This does not always happen when you meet people from online dating websites. We had a great time and we had Jdate to thank!

Another great thing about online and long distance dating is that you can get to know someone and really build a great emotional bond and that is a foundation for a great relationship, if it works out (But we’ll get more into that in another post!)
The question is, How do we know the person who we are talking to (guy or girl) is real and who they say they are? Well, you don’t! Until you meet in person you will not know if the person is who they say they are. Yes, you might talk to them on the phone and see their pictures on Facebook but that doesn’t mean it is the same person as their profile shows on Jdate or any other dating website.
Here’s another interesting story for y’all! I was recently talking to a guy who lived nearby and after we exchanged a couple of emails via Gmail (after emailing on Jdate, of course!) he admitted that he wrote from a fake email address to make sure that I am “not crazy”. He then went and emailed me from his “real” email address.

Do you think the guy has to be more cautious in who he talks to and what information he gives out? 

I think the girl should be more cautious in giving her email address out, her phone number, and any other information, especially because of awful incidents that have happened in this crazy world. 

The guy I was just talking about - his entire Jdate profile seemed shady. He said that he grew up in Washington but when I asked him he said that he in fact grew up in New York City, and that must have been a typo. Hmmmm, writing Washington when you really meant to write NYC is a typo? I don’t think so! He said under occupation, “complicated”. 

 The bottom line everyone is this: anyone, anywhere can say anything that they want, whether they are online, on the phone or in person. We do have to put our trust in some people as we date especially when it's online, so be careful! 

• What are your experiences with these guys? 

• Have you been lied to like this, that you are aware of on online dating sites? 

• Have you met a guy in person from an online dating site and was completely shocked at how they looked (Compared to their pictures)?? 

WE WANT YOUR FEEDBACK!!!!

Kiss Kiss, Hug Hug

-L.

Edited by D

NYC and the Nice Jewish Boy! Are they out there? Anywhere?

 

So girls, we just heard how dating in the burbs can be difficult! But let us now take those factors and multiply them by 10 and we are left with a sum of an even harder time to find Mr. Perfect. Although his looks may be 100% GQ his attitude is 100% PEEE-YEWW!! There are approximately 1,629,054 who populate Manhattan and only 20% of them are Jewish. It is a known fact there there are more women in this world than men so, if you take these factors into consideration Men have a lot more of us ladies to choose from than we have of them! Now, doesn't this sound very unfair? Well such is life! :::thumbs down:::

After living in the city that never sleeps for a little over 4 years I have had my fare share of observing how guys work. Now, I am not saying that all the guys in Manhattan are scum-bags but I have seen and heard a lot of crazyness! I have this little theory that I sort of believe is more factual than hypathetical! Are you ready to hear it? You sure? Alright, well here it is!

According to J.Z. and Alicia Keys, New York is a concrete jungle where dreams are made of! It is a city that is very fast paced and competitive, where everyone is striving for the best of the best. Well, I think this holds true for relationships and dating in the Ol' Big Apple! Because everyone is constantly on the go and  searching for the next best thing, men who are in relationships don't always take the time to realize what they have! What they have (the girl) could be the best thing they will ever find in their entire life! But, because they strive for the best, they may not realize it until it is too late...when they have already broken it off with that girl to find something they think will be better! This is extreemly unfortunate! I am sure there are women out there that do this too, but I have heard more stories from women regarding this matter. I have also experienced it myself.

Also, My experience in finding a Nice Jewish Boy out and about in NYC is that they are either NOT Jewish, taken, gay, or (to put it nicely) A JERK!

Meeting guys in clubs and bars is usually not the best way to go out finding your NJB! The club scene and bar scene in NYC is usually for people wanting to take someone home with them that same night, not for serious relationships. However, it does sometimes work. I have a few friends who have met their boyfriends of a few years at bars. But like I keep stating, this doesn't always work.You can also join organizations like YJP (Young Jewish Professionals). They hold a lot of mixers within different industries where young Jewish professionals can get together and meet each other. I have attended a couple of these events. A majority of the guys are just looking to get laid! But I still enjoy going and meeting all different types of people because I am just a very social person. I have also made great some contacts and friends at these events!

 Photograph courtesy of Guestofaguest.com

A great alternative that was mentioned in the previous post could be Jdate! I know many men and women who have found their basheirt on this dating site, MAZEL TOV to you! But for many New Yorkers Jdate is an alternative to going to a bar and finding a hook up! This makes me angry! Young Jewish men and women should not abuse a website that many people are taking seriously! I have my fare share of personal Jdate stories that I will leave for another time!

Great Places to meet Jewish Guys:

Murry Hill (section) of NYC

Cellar Bar @ the Bryant Park Hotel

Clubs in the Meat packing District

This is all I can think of right now. I know there are more! When I think of them you can be sure I will dedicate an entire post this this topic!

STAY TUNED TO THE NEXT POST WHERE I SPLURGE ON SOME JDATING EXPERIENCES!!! YOU WONT WANT TO MISS THIS!!!

Kiss Kiss, Hug Hug

-D. 

Finding a Nice Jewish Guy in the Suburbs: Impossible or just challenging?

If any of you live in the suburbs you would probably agree, it is very difficult to find a nice guy, whether he is Jewish or not. Where would you go to meet that nice guy? A bar? A club? A restaurant? Probably not! The guys that you usually see in these places are either with their significant others, or so drunk that you wouldn't waste your time getting to know them even if you are looking for a guy who is somewhat mature, yet fun to go out with. Recently, I went to a book signing to see Jill Zarin, one of the Real Housewives of New York City, her mother, Gloria, and her sister, Lisa Wexler. They wrote a book called Secrets of a Jewish Mother (Which by the way, is a must read!). 

They have a chapter in the book on dating, but someone in the audience asked Gloria where she thinks you should go to meet a nice, Jewish guy. Gloria did not hesitate for one second when she answered, "The driving range!" Is it true? Can you meet a nice guy (of any religion) at a driving range or a country club? That is something to try! Gloria also mentioned, as many of you probably already know, online dating has become a worldwide sensation among singles. Match.com, JDate.com, EHarmony.com have all become popular dating sites in the past few years. Is this the new matchmaking tool of the twenty-first century? Since we are talking about Jewish dating, the answer is YES! Jdate is a great place to start!

So yes, It IS challenging to meet a nice, normal Jewish guy in the suburbs (or at least in CT!), although it is NOT impossible. But, if you're not a bar, club, or lounge type of person who walks up to a guy or a girl and asks them for their number than it is probably close to impossible. Unless that is, you are set up on the ultimate, scary, blind date by a friend or relative. Dating in a city can also prove to be challenging for people who are not into the bar and club scene (for the purpose of meeting guys). 

Soooo, the number one hot spot for Jewish singles to meet is JDate! JDate has an exuberant number of members, which can be a good thing or a bad thing. Even though you can select what you're looking for such as a date, a friend, an activity partner, a long term relationship, or marriage and children, what do these things mean? Does a friend mean?  That a relationship in the long run is off limits? What does an activity partner actually mean? Are they looking for someone to go rock climbing with or are they just looking for a random hook up? Are the guys who are looking for marriage and children that serious about it that they are going to line up girls at the local Starbucks for interviews as potential girlfriends or wives, or does that just mean they want to date slowly with the intentions of eventually getting married? 

Everyone is thinking about these things as they are creating their profiles. What do you want from an online dating site? This is seriously something to think about because honesty is the number one component of a relationship. Don't put that you want a long term relationship when you are actually just looking to hook up. Hmmmm! That brings up a good point! Honesty in online dating? We'll have to tackle that one next time! Yes, JDate has led to numerous relationships and marriages (See the success stories on the site), but is that what most guys are on there for? A guy that I met said according to his friends in Long Island, "JDate is hook up central."

Your thoughts? How do you perceive Jdate (Or any other online dating site) and the people on it? Do you agree, disagree, and why? We want to hear your opinions and experiences too!

KISS KISS, HUG HUG

- L. 

HELLO WORLD!!!!

Are you tired of going out with your girlfriends, going to shull (temple), or Jdating and coming out only finding those "not so nice Jewish boys"? Well we are too!! I am sure you have asked yourself, "WHERE ARE THEY????" many times before and like you so have we!! Trust us, we feel as though either all the nice Jewish guys are either already snatched up or like to wear more make-up than we do!  :::wink, wink:::

"Life, Love, and The Nice Jewish Boy...?"  is a tell all and advice blog catering to all the Nice Jewish Girls out there looking for their Basheirt! After dating many Jewish guys in the metro NY,NJ & CT area and only coming out with free dinners and sometimes broken hearts we feel like it is our duty to tell our stories to all of you to let you know...you are not the only ones. In favor, maybe you'll get a few laughs out of it and some insite on what to do and what not to do. 

AND TO YOU GUYS OUT THERE WHO MAY BE READING THIS... Maybe you will learn what you are doing wrong and realize how to fix it and make it right in your own dating lives! That would be a Machiya!!

WE LOVE FEEDBACK! SO PLEASE COMMENT AND POST YOUR THOUGHTS, STORIES, AND ADVICE to help our mission of having all us Nice Jewish Girls find our Nice Jewish Boys!!

Kiss Kiss, Hug Hug

The Nice Jewish Girls (D&L)

Girls